closing the door

Does anyone else struggle with changing phases of their lives. As I am getting older I have noticed I am closing doors on some of the things from my childhood. I think this is just a part of growing up and preparing to begin new adventures.

I have been dancing since I was three and I have been teaching dance for the past 7 years. While I love dancing and teaching I recently decided that it is time for me to just move on. I was no longer loving it like I used to and no longer valued the experience.

I feel like I was still trying to put so much in, but there wasn't much of a return. Dance was turning more into a job and less of a love. I started to feel unappreciated and under valued. I hated the way I was feeling and how much stress I would put on myself about it. While I did my best to keep a smile on my face and try to enjoy the opportunity I had to teach, I would always come home exhausted and frustrated.

This past year I decided to take a year off for the first time since I had started at age three. It was a wonderful year. I still kept my foot in the door at the dance studio but also took some time for myself and my family.

While it was nice to take a break I was excited to get back into the swing of things.... that was until I wasn't able to get the classes I had hoped to teach. Already before the season was even starting I was frustrated and again feeling under appreciated. I would sit at home and vent to my husband about it.

My husband kept telling me that I didn't have to teach if I didn't want to. Even though I didn't really want to teach, the thought of turning my back on dance was hard for me to swallow. Am I really ready to move on with my life. I always defined myself as a dancer.

Finally I decided that not teaching would be the best for me. Even though I am sure I will have days that I will miss it and I will definitely miss all my amazing students. I think I will be so much happier if I instead focus on the new things in my life that I love.